Christians are straight up FREAKS
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
