im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Can Purell be used as lube?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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