NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
