Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
