Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
