I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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