Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
