are you still at the devil's house?
too bad you live with your parents still
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
