In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
