Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
