Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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