im gay
i know
yea but for you.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
