Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
