Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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