your thong is hanging out like whoa
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
