so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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