Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
