the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
