you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
