Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize