I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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