Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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