throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I would fuck him just for his dog
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
