You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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