someone threw a dead crab at me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
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