You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
