I'm eating all of the evidence.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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