He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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