Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
