Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wish I only lived at night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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