what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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