Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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