I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
