Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
