who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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