maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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