He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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