My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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