Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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