I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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