My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
whose ass print is on the piano?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.