no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger