No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.