omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.