i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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