Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...