She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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