Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
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I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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