I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
