I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
