I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
