he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
