What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
