So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
