Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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