She went from zero to smokin in five shots
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
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Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
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i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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