I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
