I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You brought string cheese to the strip club
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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