i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
