the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
