Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
