you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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