the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize