Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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