Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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