who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
