he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
