He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
