drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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