Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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